Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Stay Looking Busy...

So, we have all been there, boss walking around the office trying to see if anybody is working less than him. Well, years ago I came across this list of ingredients for your office/cubicle lifestyle and survival, and just recently found the list in an old shoe box from about 4 moves ago. The George Costanza list of how to look busy while doing next to nothing.
For your pleasure, here is the list:
1. Never Walk Around Without A Document In Your Hands:
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use Computers To Look Busy:
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about, but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught -- your best defense is to claim that you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

3. Messy Desk:
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's the volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Voice Mail:
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed:
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

6. Leave The Office Late:
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important e-mails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:36pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.

7. Creative Sighing for Effect:
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving them the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

8. Stacking Strategy:
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best)

9. Building Vocabulary:
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

Well, there you have it. Study this list and hopefully you, too, can get maximum pay for minimum work. I've seen it happen with my own eyes. Hardest worker = Least pay. I have had the opportunity to see the computer guys play anything from Scrabble and Battleship online to Alien vs. Predator and Star Wars.

As of the end of this post I am currently listening to "The Winding Sheet" by Mark Lanegan from the album "The Winding Sheet" released on Sub Pop records in 1990. NPR Podcast.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Gobble Your Meat...

So, now that Fall has peeked around the corner to show us her Autumn chill that means that it'll prolly rain on Halloween again this year as well. Which only means that at 12:01am November 1st all you local stores will be working overtime to put up all their decorations for the good old day of giving thanks.
Well, here at SRC Bypass, I have them all "beat" with a list of:

"Things You Can Get Away With Saying At Thanksgiving"
1. Talk about a Huge Breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip® time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'm gunna Burst!
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?

The above list was sent to me in an Email on Thursday, November 23rd 2000 @ 16:12:57 EST.

As of the end of this post I am currently listening to "Preacher Boy" by Tranan from the compilation "Destination Goa: The 11th Chapter" release in 2002 on Why-Not records. Tranan is one half of the Psy-Trance group Hux-Flux. Well, the Cryptic Crunch album anyway.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Hi Dewds...

So, some sort of ish happened to my G4 so the updates haven't been flowing as much as you have been anticipating. I'm sorry. I am working on my Cube for this post. It is short and sweet. Until later, have a good night.
R.I.P. Eric Stricker

As of the end of this post I am currently listening to "Next Generation" by Space Buddha from the album "Space Buddha" released in 1999. Space Buddha is none other than Eliad Grundland who also goes under the alias of Indica that did the wonderful track called "Fly Me Over The Rainbow" both released on Agitato Records out of Israel and part of the Isratrance family.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Rome, If You Want To...

So, I should really try to travel more and make the most of seeing my friends, the only real expense for said travel would be getting there. I have friends in many states that I love to visit let's start with...

Seattle, WA with whom which I could could stay with, this would be Justin & Jackie. I have known Justin since 1987, Seventh grade. We were skate punx, skated all the time, at one time he had the loosest trucks in St. Charles, IL. plus, Justin introduced me to Adrenalin O.D. and G.B.H.; he is the reason I have skated loose trucks all this time. When Justin got married It was me he took with to look for rings for Jackie, and asked for me be his Best Man, I was more than happy.
Musically we were similar with the whole punk thing then it ventured into the drum machine tape loop stuff and Industrial music like Einsturzende Neubauten and Ajax (a WaxTrax! Records artist). Even though Justin got more into the Classic Rock and Blues, he'd still help me on projects in my studio, he really brought a breath of fresh air to the songs we worked on, his enthusiasm toward making music is so inspiring, no matter what Genre.

Next... Mesa, AZ.
We have Chris (Frog) & Joy. I first me Frog in 2000 after returning to a job that I quit for 2 months. They hired him as a print pressman. It turns out that Frog & I both skated, both liked punk music and both knew the same people from waaaaay B in the D, but never met until then. We quickly became close, with him and Joy claiming that they were going to adopt me, I remember the first time I went to their house after skating, Joy had made all this food like Taquitos, Mozzarella Stix and Poppers. I quickly became almost family and still am to this day with them inviting me to Thanksgiving, Christmas. I even watched their house and dog Malibu, my niece, in Arizona while they came back to Chicago for Patrick & Kelly's wedding [insert link to speakeasy tattoo]

Next... California.
My Aunt & Uncle Jennifer & Mark, who live in Martinez. Mark is a super rad mechanic & a Harley Davidson rider, old school, not one of those kewl noob guys that watches Orange County Choppers on the weekends, dude has permanent stained black cuticles, huge biker mustache and everything. He's actually Hardly Dangerous, but a Tuff dude nonetheless when I visited them in 1989 for the summer I remember Mark listening to some College Radio station while on the way to Concord to pick up my Aunt from work, this was my first experience with that type of radio, College Radio. I about flipped when I heard "Making the Bombs" by Circle Jerks coming out from across a radio frequency. This solidified my respect for Mark, well that and the fact that he's put up with my Aunt for so long.
Also in California I have an Uncle John and step Aunt Leah who also have a Summer home up in Northern Wisconsin, which would be nice just to get away even if just for a weekend.
Let's see, who else? Oh, the Manatee crew & Cat Face Meowmers, maybe even a stop to see the Sin Habits crew down in the LBC, even though I only know Shizer and Rehab.

Next... Portland, OR.
Here, out in Portland I have various family, friends and family friends, any one of which I could prolly call on to come visit or have a place to stay if I'm just passing through. One of the friends that I went to HS with is in the band 800 Octane.

Next... NYC? Montana? Wyoming? Vegas?

Ahhhhhhh you get the idea. Don't you? Needing tons of money or even a lot of it to get away for some time with family or friends is just not the case. $300 could bring you prolly one of the best times of your life, it may seem like a lot of money to some of you, but once you smile, see their smile and get that first hug upon arrival your trip has pretty much paid for itself right there, and you haven't even put your bags in the trunk yet.

The hardest part is thinking about it.

As of the end of this post I am currently listening to "The Gathering" by Passenger from the album "Broken Hearts of Brothers Lost" 2006

Friday, September 11, 2009

Jerry Bruckheimer...

So, todei is that tragic and fatefull day in our history that was so profound and insightful it was like something out of a Jerry Bruckheimer film. Enjoy!

As of the end of this post I am currently listening to "Didn't I Know You Once" by Surgery from the album "Shimmer" released in 1994. Some grunge rock, if you like Fu Manchu you'll like these guys.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

New Sticker Are Here...

So, the stickers are in, these new sticker versions are on white vinyl with:
The text in Red,
The fat guy in Black.
The BCKGRND is White.
If you want one, hit me up. I'd like to sell them for a dollar each. 5 for $4? 10 for $8? Who knows... Maybe 10 stickers and 5 random buttons for $13?
Did I mention that I also am making 1" buttons? Well, I am. Wellborn Clothing, De●li●cious Cafe and thuMp! have orders placed with me. So, if you'd also wanna join the gang and help a brotha out, I'll do my best to help you out. Peace!!! The image above is the one of the pictures that Tim over @ Such Luck used in his new batch of buttons.
(singularity is intentional)

As of the end of this post I am currently listening to "The Voyage Of The Homeless Sapien" by Cathedral from the EP "Cosmic Requiem" released in 1994.

The Dream Is Held...

So, Monday I sk8d hard at the park from 11:30am-4pm, I almost killed a kid on a razor scooter who's Dad thought the sk8prk was a daycare. After I left the park at 4pm, I went home ate some Chips, Salsa and refined beans with a few Adult Sodas for about an hour. Mai colored friend Alex called me, he was out riding bikes with Scott SAG Arthur Zone, and they wanted to meet up with me. I met them half way and when they got to where I was, Alex got a flat tire after smacking his kewt tiny tire against the curb. So dainty & delicate. We then decided to park the bikes at North & Halsted and go for a nice summer walk. We walked down to a local 7-Eleven to attain some sweets. Me? oh I got some Banana/Vanilla cotton candy and an Orange Creme© Slurpee™.
We then went to sit on the stoop of some fashion store on Halsted, it had a cozy feel all New York like, I felt like I was on the set of Crooklyn, just people watching.

This one girl walked up with her BF and asked waht we were up to and if we'd want her to make us a Bluetooth, seeing as only Alex & Scott wear glasses, I was left out of the art show. Alex was the first one up, she told him that the only people he could call were God and Dracula. She tied, I think, a piece of licorice or some other candy-like string to the ear-piece of his glasses, Scott's too. Alex then offered up to her one of his prized drawing from his sketch book, Scott followed suit and all I had to offer her was one of the stickers that I had gotten made. She loved them all and asked a small history about each piece. The whole experience made Alex's day. On the way back we walked my a bar called the Manhandler Saloon, I think that made Scott's dei.

When I had gotten home I came up with this little ???????? for the open Mic that Alex, the Analogue Angel and I might do at one of these artsy fartsy coffee houses, here it is:
horoscope, lyph, sk8, byks decipher wahts right in the nyte as buttered knife to corn like porn is born to bite this lifer's might.

As of the end of this post I am currently listening to "Navras" by Juno Reactor from the album "Labyrinth" released in 2004.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Skateboarding Is For Serious...

Spencer 2009ish - SuchLuck.com from Such Luck on Vimeo.

So, here I give to you my 2009 footy, bro. Mostly filmed by Tim over at Such Luck, and the Ollie Footplant line was filmed by Morley ov the Wilson Warriors. As you can see, I still skate for fun and don't take it SRSLY, I mean, I still plan on going pro, but it's all politics and I don't have time for politicalities and all that junk. After watching this I realized that I still have a bunch of variations on the ish that was done here.

Maybe I can coax Tim to get more moving imagery before the end of the year as sort of a 2009 skate capper, like give you a taste of things to come in 2010, and no I don't mean the Auto Show.
On another note, OMG! So last night I bought some Captain Morgan and brought it home, the only thing I had to mix with it was one Diet Coke and some Supervalu brand cola by the name of Super Chill, flavor: Strawberry aka: Black Coke. They also have a Super good version of DP called DR. Chill.

I honestly love all the DP knock-offs. Let's see there was Dr. Right, Dr. Skipper and Dr. Sweet that I have personally enjoyed over the years Who can forget Mr. Pibb and let's not for get some of the forgotten flavors that have come & gone only to disappoint it's niche market for which it was intended. Me being one of those people who loves to try any new soda or cola or Un-cola for that matter, at least once. It has sort of become what I am know for when I am on vacation, was on tour, or just out visiting weird places with my Daddy.

Enjoy the video, enjoy the mix of Captain Strawberry, enjoy new soda flavors you've never heard of. My favorite and most elusive cola to date is Borgnine's Coffe Soda, I'm pretty sure it's prolly not made anymore, so when the opportunity presents itself... I make my own. Even if just for one glass.

As of the end of this post I am currently listening to "Go Get Busy (hardcore edit)" by DJ Weirdo & DJ Slim from the compilation " Hardcore Cheddar: The Dutch Masters 2" from 1995.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Skater Button...

So, this is what my analogue angel does to amuse herself, draws funny faces on my belly button, it's half Audi.
No music ender today, just the fan oscillating and compy hummy.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Total Pageviews

Views Since 2nd Quarter 2009


☻ mammy ☺ mommy